Valentine’s Day is upon is and it can be a tough time for a lot of people. Here are two things I wanted to remind you of:
- Being single is awesome
- And loving people is also awesome
Both are true.
For years I had a secret admirer who sent me the same very charming, mouse-themed valentines in the same unidentifiable handwriting. Every Valentine’s Day I wondered who it could be. Who could be loving me from afar over that long stretch of time, content to just send sweet cards with the blocky script? Content to only write:
“Happy Valentine’s Day, from your Secret Admirer.”
My parents were kind enough to bite the inside of their cheeks to keep from pointing out the similarities between the mystery handwriting and my grandmother’s own VERY distinctive script. It shall remain a mystery never to be solved.
Whether or not you have a special someone to celebrate with this year my recommendation is the same :
Love on yourself
Love on your loved ones
Prepare for the big day by asking yourself some questions:
- What would be the most loving and kind way to spend the day?
- What makes me feel deeply connected to the world around me?
- What makes me feel warm in my heart?
- What makes me feel soft and tender?
- If I was my own most perfect love, how would I treat myself? What would I say?
(Then hold your heart gently in your awareness and say those things)
Next, think of the people in your life that delight you. TELL them they delight you. Make a valentine in words or actions and shower the people who feel like home with heartfelt gratitude.
Are you very anti-Valentine’s Day?
Then here are a few ways to tell the people you love that they matter without getting into bed with The System (and supporting Big Chocolate and Big Greeting Card):
- make them coffee exactly how they like it
- ask them about a time when they were deeply happy and listen intently. Notice what their eyes look like when they share, pay attention to the mannerisms they use when excited. File the knowledge away in your heart and feel grateful for that peek into their tender self
- share with a friend the moment you decided you just had to be their friend and the moments that have followed that make you congratulate yourself for having such good taste in humans
- tell someone the tangible and non-tangible ways that knowing them makes your life better
- share a hammock together and say nothing, but send love through all the points where your bodies touch. Blast their knee and the outside of their hip and their elbow and shoulder with blazing hot affection
- do their dishes
- read them a passage of your favorite book or a poem that makes your heart sing and send it to them in a voice note
Meditate on the truth that welcoming pleasure in your life means loving yourself deeply.
And that depth of love for yourself gives you more capacity to love and be loved by others. In the most boundaried and tender and warm ways.