Why not enjoy the unenjoyable?


About a year ago things were heavy in my life. REALLY heavy. My father was dying and my child was suffering through a pretty epic mental health crisis. Sometimes there’s little we can do about the stuff that shows up in our life and this was what was showing up in mine. Things were heavy. But, like, REALLY heavy. And I made a pretty radical decision to enjoy the crap out of whatever was showing up, and to really just suck the marrow out of some of the most intense experiences that life has to offer.


You see, I have a pretty irreverent and wildly inappropriate approach to intense and solemn situations. I started asking myself a question which changed everything, and I think it can’t change things for you too. “What if this horrible thing was fun or easy or hot? What if I can decide that I’m going to make sure to ENJOY it.”

​I’ve been asking myself a question which has been changing everything, and I think it can’t change things for you too. “What if this horrible thing was fun and easy and hot? What if I can decide that I’m going to make sure to ENJOY it.”

​Crucially, this is NOT about looking for the silver lining in difficult situations. It’s also not about pretending that you love something that you actually hate. It’s about questioning the assumption that something is going to be dreadful and awful and painful. It’s about staying open to the possibility of being delighted. Or, to take it a step further, it’s about actively seeking out ways to be delighted by whatever is showing up.

Now I know that’s a stretch, so bear with me. It goes against the grain to not reach for the misery and to not bear down and endure whatever is coming up. It might even seem selfish because I’m not saying to make the situation better for the other people in your life, I’m saying to make it better for YOU.

The thing is this is your only life, baby, and you might as well make the best of it. I have experienced a lot of upheaval in my life and the one thing I know to be true is that it’s very likely that will continue. So to go with the prevailing wisdom to be present and get through it would essentially look like doing that for my entire life. And maybe I’m a little more interested in living my life than in enduring it. You get me? What if instead of enduring you could revel in discovering how you can make whatever grief, sorrow, painful tumult into the most delicious and alive thing that’s happening for you right now.

I want the same for you and I can show you how to do it.

But, fortunately you don’t need to have a crisis in order to embrace this approach. In fact the reason I was able to stay so lit up and centered during this particularly wild loop-di-loop in my life was precisely because I have these tools so deeply anchored; I am exquisitely connected to my body and aware of what it has to tell me, I am keenly aware of what brings me pleasure and joy, and I am very in touch with what I want. I make showing up for myself a priority. Which means I can show up for everyone else. And you can have this too; both to help weather any storm that might be brewing but also to deeply enjoy the crap out of your life while you are living it.

If you want in on my outrageously inappropriate and experimental approach to life you can start by taking The Great Pleasure Challenge. We begin December 1st.