Dearest lovelies,
How are you? How ARE you? I write this blog post sitting at my kitchen counter in the waning light of a beautiful Saturday afternoon, cup of tea within reach and wracking my brain about what to say. This is my very first blog and I have lots of news but I really want to know how you're doing. Are you well? Are you able to find some happiness in these unprecedented days?
Early in the pandemic both my child and I were sick with symptoms of Covid, before it was possible to procure a test. My symptoms came on progressively just as the country was shutting down and every day brought more panic, more uncertainty (little did we know just how much more 2020 had to offer us way back in March!). It was hard. And overwhelming. And I found that I really only had enough energy to attend to the small invisible circle that hovered just outside of arms reach. If it fell within arms length I could address it, otherwise: sorry. I had very little to give to my relationships and returned messages and mantained contact only when I had a tiny burst of something extra.
During the weeks it took to recover I began to incorporate a radical approach of only doing something if it brought me pleasure.
Force became the enemy.
Slow, the only option.
At the same time I was moved by what I thought I observed occuring in the world: greater authenticity, greater acceptance of people being exactly where they were and being open and vulnerable about the way they experienced life, as well as a more profound sense of community and connection. All my favorite stuff.
I discovered quickly that my 2020 goals and plans would have to change, I wouldn't be offering more classes in my home any time soon and cooking for people (who mostly had compromised immune systems) didn't seem responsible or wise. Everything came to a grinding halt.
And something else came to a halt as I recovered from my illness and the world descended into greater chaos: my emotions. I'm a person who feels things deeply, always quite logical and pragmatic but also deeply connected to the ebb and flow of my emotional life and accustomed to feeling many things throughout the course of a single day. I am usually engaged in a fluid dance with my emotions and observe their movement within my being. During this time I frustratingly found that I largely felt...nothing.
Occasionally I might detect a whisper of irritation, a hint of overwhelm but not much else. Mostly I felt muffled. Wrapped in a kind of cotton wool so everything felt soft, hazy, dampened. I started to notice increasing frustration. Why wasn't I feeling more??
One day I had a simple but astonishing reflection. As I analyzed (again) the sensation of feeling muffled, I became curious about it. I wondered to myself about what sorts of things get wrapped in many layers of padding and quickly an answer came to mind: the most precious things. The most fragile and vulnerable and delicate things get treated with tremendous care, wrapped in layers and layers to keep them safe and protected.
Underneath all those layers of cotton wool was a raw and vulnerable self, needing the utmost care and tenderness. I was immediately overcome with wonder as I reflected on the perfectly loving way my body and mind had protected me from what-at the time-had felt like too much. I marveled and then I celebrated (actually out loud): "I am a GENIUS! My body is a GENIUS! I knew exactly the right thing to do for myself! That's amazing. Incredible!"
I sat for a few minutes in awe and celebration and grabbed my phone to send an exultant message to friends with my revelation. And a few minutes later I noticed something else. In that simple act of curiosity, followed by approval of my state of being and then celebration, the swaddling that had been there for weeks and weeks came undone and I could feel. I felt joy, delight, wonder. I felt like myself again.
This moment and others that I've stretched into over the last many months have given me all kinds of amazing gifts in this wild, circus of a year. My body healing process brought me to an appreciation and greater understanding of Chinese Medicine. I've deepened my knowledge of traditional chinese dietary theory and incroporated it into my meals and been able to teach others how to do the same. What I can offer those I work with now has become even more rich and nuanced and meaningful. The extra tenderness and acceptance I showed myself I've observed come up in the care I give my dear clients, the deep appreciation I have for them and the approval I shower on them for being precisely where they are. It's extraordinary what happens when you just love people.
I've realized that time is limited and we must respond to the insistent pull of desire. Desire and listening to the insistent nudges of Spirit led me to create a beautiful new course: The Sensuality of Food. At the end of summer I piloted this idea (based on my own philosophy which I developed over many years about the grounding influence of sensory awareness, and the delights that are available to us through all of our senses in our experience of food). It was glorious. Every week I was so excited to share my acute noticings with my fellow Pleasure Detectives and I delighted in observing their greater expansion into mindfulness and connection with their bodies. It's been a timely offering in this year of overwhelm. The trial was a success and provided me with such useful information! I'll be offering an expanded version of the course again in January 2021.
Most of my interactions with clients have moved online and I've been surprised and delighted to discover how much connection is possible through screens. I am available once again for some limited private chef work, if that calls to you be in touch. Now more than ever I believe that developing the ability to cook for oneself is one of the most meaingful ways we can care for ourselves and our loved ones. In my online offerings I've been able to create fully customized and specific classes and it has been wild.
I've taught:
• Healing, traditional Sichuan medicinal broths
• Pie dough
• Exciting plant-based meals
• Listening for the information from our bodies around food choices
• Basic quick sauces
• Playfulness and ease and the dinner game
• Grain-free cookies
• Centering pleasure and enjoyment in food preparation and eating
The list goes on. If anything here calls to you or creates a whisper of a question in your mind along the lines of "ooooh, maybe Amelia can help me with ________" (fill in the blank with any persistent nudges) send me a message, I'd love to discover how I can help. But also I would really just like to be in touch. Let's talk! Consider this an invitation to have a chat. Tell me how your year has been. What's going on?
Another unexpected gift in this year of isolation has been the freedom to transcend borders. I've worked with friends in South Africa, in Canada, Hawaii, the UK. Our ability to be together is limitless - well, the only limitation really is being awake at the same time.
This first post is much longer than probably any marketing guru would advise. If you think there's something in here that might sing to someone you know, please share it with them. Introductions are welcome! My awareness of our connections to one another and our need to support one another has only deepened and what may have once seemed like a terrible imposition now seems purely practical. The only way I can serve others is to depend on you to help me reach them. Follow me on social media if you use it, share my posts or emails or - even better - give my name to a friend you think might benefit from a talk with me.
Lastly: I advocate pleasure in all things. If receiving my newsletter ever creates displeasure feel free to unsubscribe. Take exquisite care of yourselves, my lovelies. I look forward to connecting soon.
xoxo
Amelia